


A Night on the Beach

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Series: Soulmate Dreams [16]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Did I Mention Angst?, Late-Night Existential Crisis, M/M, Miscommunication, Soulmate AU, Things Don't Go As Planned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-10-25 16:20:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10767939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: The last thing Phichit expected to be doing the night before his eighteenth birthday was sharing an existential crisis with Seung Gil.  Life's funny that way.





	1. Phichit

All his life, Phichit had expected his soulmate to be older than him. He wasn’t quite sure what he thought of the fact that he was going to bed on his eighteenth birthday with no idea who to expect. Leo and Guang Hong had NOT been helpful with their suggestions that his soulmate was his smartphone, or a personification of Instagram. Mini-Yuri hadn’t helped either – his suggestion was that Phichit’s soulmate was a hamster.

The house was too full. Too many people. His parents and siblings were great, and of course he loved his friends, but nearly all his friends were paired off as soulmates. His own fault for mostly having older friends, Phichit supposed, but still. It was awesome, having been around such great examples of soulmates so long, but it could be suffocating too.

Phichit slipped out of the house to a hammock set up on the beach. Most Thai people would say it was a bit cool, but Phichit spent so much time on ice that he found it too warm to bother with the blanket. He might regret it in the morning, but he tossed the blanket to the sand beside him before stretching out and looking up at the stars.

Not long after, someone picked up the blanket and shook it out. Phichit turned his head to see Seung Gil settling on the blanket. “Hey. Can’t sleep?”

“No." Seung Gil stretched out. Phichit figured that was it, but Seung Gil surprised him. "My birthday’s in five weeks, and I’m a bit scared.”

“Scared of what?” He'd never imagined Seung Gil being scared of anything. Even Michele Crispino didn't rattle him.

“I’m not exactly the easiest person to deal with.”

Okay, that was true. Yuuri and Viktor had been very surprised when Phichit said he wanted to invite Seung Gil on the birthday beach trip. As far as Phichit knew, Seung Gil’s only friends were his dog and Phichit. “No, you’re not. But if your soulmate can’t deal with you, that’s on them, not you.”

Seung Gil reached out and picked up a handful of sand. As he watched it dribble out between his fingers, he said, “What if I don’t have one, Phichit?”

“It happens. For all I know, I may not have one."

Seung Gil turned to look at him, a little surprised. “There’s no way you don’t have a soulmate. Everyone loves you. The universe shouldn’t have any trouble finding someone for you.”

“Everyone loves me. So maybe the universe figures, what do I need with a soulmate? But you, I know you don’t need constant attention and everyone’s love like I do, but someone who gets you and is there for you when you need someone… you should have that.” Whoever Seung Gil's soulmate was, if he didn't appreciate the blessing, Phichit was going to launch a full-scale internet assault.

Seung Gil turned back and scooped up more sand. “Maybe. I don’t know. I’d like to think there’s someone out there for me. That there’s more to my life than skating and numbers and brushing Mongshil.” Seung Gil sighed as the last grains of sand slipped from his hand. “And I should let you sleep instead of dumping my problems on you.”

“It’s okay. I can’t sleep either. I should, I know." Phichit tried, but his brain would shut down. A few minutes later, he gave up. "Maybe not having a soulmate wouldn’t be so bad, for me. If I don’t have a soulmate, that’s more time and energy for my skating, and my friends. Minako swears one of the reasons she won the big fancy dance award she won is that she didn’t have a soulmate distracting her.”

“Maybe, but don’t you want to be the most important person in someone’s life?”

He did. It just seemed like maybe... better him than most other people. “It doesn’t always work that way, even for soulmates.”

“But at least if you have a soulmate, the chance is there.”

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t want to get into something like what Viktor and Yuuri have, but it would be nice to have someone I can count on to be there who won’t ever have to ditch me for their soulmate.” Phichit rolled onto his side. “I’m gonna try to sleep again. I hope you can get some too.”

 

It took another half hour for Phichit to actually sleep. In his dream, he was lying on the beach still, but he was on a blanket on the ground, it was daytime, there were various things scattered around including, for some reason, his skates. One thing that hadn’t changed: Seung Gil was lying beside him. “Seung Gil?”

“Hey.” Seung Gil brushed the sand from his hands and rolled to face Phichit. "You're here."

“We’re soulmates?” Phichit burst into laughter. This was perfect, considering their waking talk.

“Looks like." Seung Gil smiled, but he sobered quickly. "This could be a problem.”

“Huh? Why would it be a problem?”

“Because I’m not going to believe you tomorrow, not after the talk we had tonight.”

Phichit reached out and patted Seung Gil's shoulder. “Come on, Seung Gil. Why would I lie? You’re going to bust me in five weeks!”

Seung Gil shrugged. “If you can get me past the initial lashing out enough to where the logic kicks back in, you’ve got a good chance of talking me around. If you don’t, though, I’m gonna take off, and when I have my dream I’ll be so ashamed of it that I won’t call.”

“So I’ll just have to chase you down after your birthday. You don’t have a code?”

“No, I don’t. I did when I was little, but eventually I realized it likely wouldn't work the way I hoped. I haven’t thought of it in years, so no telling if I'll even remember it out there, but coming from you it would work if I do. If you really don’t want to just wait the five weeks, you can try it. At the very least, it might cut through the emotion and get logic back online.”

 

Seung Gil was still on the blanket when Phichit woke up, having eventually fallen asleep. Phichit lay in the hammock watching the sky and the ocean slowly lighten as the sun rose behind him as he tried to figure out what to do about his dream. Waiting five weeks, in a lot of ways, was the easiest plan. Seung Gil would understand, there’d be no doubt, no misunderstanding to resolve. On the other hand, that was five weeks of knowing that Seung Gil wouldn’t have. Five weeks during the all-too-short offseason that they could be together.

Phichit watched Seung Gil sleep, wondering how he’d never noticed how beautiful his friend was. When Seung Gil sleepily blinked awake, Phichit turned away. “Good morning.”

“Good morning. Do you want to talk about your dream?”

“I don’t…” Phichit couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lie. “I’m probably an idiot, but yes. I do. Please, don’t freak out.”

“What, is it my sister or something?”

“No. Seung Gil, it’s you. You’re my soulmate.”

Phichit had been warned. Seung Gil wouldn’t believe him, and he would be furious. Phichit had been prepared to duck a punch, or listen to shouting or insults. He was not prepared to see Seung Gil’s eyes go cold, to see the look in them that he usually gave the vegetables his coach forced him to eat. He gave a curt nod. “I see.” Seung Gil started walking back toward the house.

He’d made it halfway back by the time Phichit recovered enough to start running after him. He was almost to the door when Phichit caught him. “Seung Gil. This is why I told you not to freak out! I’m not making this up.” There was no response, just that same cold look. “Seung Gil, you’re never one to let emotion overcome logic. You’re a freaking Vulcan. Just think about it. Please.”

Seung Gil didn’t say anything, and for a bit, Phichit thought he’d completely broken his friend. Finally, he said one word. “Explain.”

“Okay. Last night, you told me how afraid you were you didn’t have a soulmate, that you didn’t have that kind of connection waiting for someone.” If anything, Seung Gil’s face just got harder. Phichit tried not to let that worry him. “You know me. You know I’m not the kind of person who deliberately hurts people. If I were lying to you, you’d know in five weeks. And then not only might you not have a soulmate, you’d have lost your only human friend, too. You’d hate me. No, Seung Gil. If I didn’t have a soulmate, I’d have waited the five weeks to see what happened with you, and if you didn’t either, maybe we could do something together. I’m not trying to take that away from you. I’m trying to reach my soulmate.”

Seung Gil’s face hadn’t changed, but now, as he thought it through, the coldness in his eyes faded to cautious hope. “If you’re lying to me, you’re either an idiot or an asshole. I’ve never known you to be either.”

“You believe me?”

“I believe you.”

Phichit’s face lit up and he hugged Seung Gil, who was clearly caught off-guard but managed to get his arms up around Phichit eventually. “Okay. Your turn to explain something,” Phichit said as he stepped back.

“What?”

“What the hell is a Vulcan?”

Seung Gil stared at him in disbelief. “You spent years living in America, know every meme out there, and you somehow managed to miss Star Trek?”

“Um… yes? I got into Star Wars thanks to Disney, but not Star Trek.”

“Vulcans are a fictional race of aliens who prioritize logic above everything else. Why’d you call me a Vulcan if you didn’t know what it was?”

“You weren’t sure if you’d remember… when you were a kid, before you became so convinced you didn’t have a soulmate, that was your code.”

Seung Gil shook his head. He didn't remember. “Not a very effective one.”

“Which is one reason you abandoned it. You just hoped that it would hit you hard enough to make you listen to me.”

“I guess it was effective after all.” Seung Gil glanced at the house. “You realize your other friends are never going to believe this.”

“Oh, I don’t know." Phichit linked his arm through Seung Gil's as he started inside. "They never believed we were friends to begin with, so now the soul bond becomes an explanation for that.”


	2. Seung Gil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As a child, Seung Gil hated school. It got too bad to bear when he was nine years old, but thankfully, his coach convinced his parents to let him switch to a private tutor.
> 
> It took over eight years for the memories to stop haunting him, and of course, it got so much worse right at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Seungchuchu Week Day 3: Head and Heart
> 
> Prompts: Late Night Thoughts, Pining, Communication
> 
> This is both Seung Gil's POV of the night on the beach, and what happened if Phichit had been just a little slower to come to his senses. Because I couldn't decide which way I wanted to go.

When Seung Gil was young, before his aptitude for figure skating became apparent, he went to a regular school like any other boy. He was not like any other boy, though. He was focused, he had a natural talent for math but struggled with reading, and he had a lot of trouble making friends. The other boys made fun of him, and forget the girls. They had no use for the sullen boy who would rather do math homework than run around the playground.

The worst day of his life, Seung Gil had been forced to go outside with the other kids. One of the boys was telling everyone about how his older sister’s soulmate had come to meet her, and his sister was being disgusting and nauseating and was so in love he couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her. That led to sharing everything they knew about soulmates, and when someone noticed that Seung Gil was paying attention, he laughed.

“Do you really think you need to know any of this? You can’t have a soulmate if you don’t have a soul, moron!”

The rest of that year had been hell. Everyone teased Seung Gil about his lack of a soul. At the end of the school year, when Minso Park suggested that he switch to a private tutor instead of school so that he could focus on skating, he readily agreed and helped her talk his parents into it. If he was soulless, if he was never going to have a soulmate, then what was the point of trying to maintain friendships?

Not long after, he met Phichit Chulanont at a competition. He and Phichit consistently placed on the podium at every competition they had together. Phichit reached out to him, and although at first Seung Gil kept him away, Phichit’s persistence eventually got through to him. In Phichit, Seung Gil found acceptance and someone who tolerated him, even if he didn’t always understand him. He didn’t need much in the way of friendship, and Phichit gave him everything he did need.

 

Phichit invited Seung Gil to come to Thailand at the end of April to help him celebrate his eighteenth birthday. If it were anyone but Phichit, Seung Gil would have said no, but he couldn’t say no to Phichit. He also couldn’t explain to Phichit why he hated the thought. Phichit deserved to have a soulmate who would put him first, instead of being everyone’s second-best friend. Even Yuuri, if he ever had to choose, would put Viktor over Phichit. Seung Gil, though… “You can’t have a soulmate if you don’t have a soul.” Those old hateful words, from so long ago, came back to haunt him.

The night before Phichit’s birthday, Seung Gil was the only one who saw him walk out. He struggled with himself – if Phichit was worried, maybe he could use a friend, but if Phichit just wanted privacy, he’d never want Seung Gil there. He decided to go after Phichit. Phichit would tell him if he wasn’t welcome.

Phichit didn’t seem to mind when Seung Gil took the blanket he’d thrown off the hammock. “Hey. Can’t sleep?”

“No.” Seung Gil stretched out on the blanket and started playing with the sand. “My birthday’s in five weeks, and I’m a bit scared.”

“Scared of what?”

Phichit sounded surprised, which Seung Gil had to admit was fair. Seung Gil didn’t let anyone see this part of him, this deep into his… not soul. Obviously. Since he didn't have one. “I’m not exactly the easiest person to deal with.”

“No, you’re not,” Phichit agreed. “But if your soulmate can’t deal with you, that’s on them, not you.”

Seung Gil watched a handful of sand dribble between his fingers. “What if I don’t have one, Phichit?” The idea bothered him more than he could explain to Phichit. It was another thing about him that Phichit couldn’t understand.

“It happens.” As expected, Phichit didn’t understand. “For all I know, I may not have one.”

Seung Gil dropped the sand and stared at Phichit. If there were anyone who had nothing to worry about… how could anyone not love him? “There’s no way you don’t have a soulmate. Everyone loves you. The universe shouldn’t have any problem finding someone for you.”

“Everyone loves me. So maybe the universe figures, what do I need with a soulmate?” It was unthinkable to Seung Gil that Phichit wouldn’t have a soulmate. Whether he needed one or not, he deserved one. “But you, I know you don’t need constant attention and everyone’s love like I do, but someone who gets you and is there for you no matter what… you should have that.”

Seung Gil picked up more sand. “Maybe. I don’t know. I’d like to think there’s someone out there for me. That there’s more to my life than skating and numbers and brushing Mongshul.” That he had a soul. That he wasn’t a robot or a Vulcan or any of the other things people had called him for eight years. When he was young, he took pride in being called a Vulcan. He’d even thought about using it as his identification test. Then the bullies had taken that from him. He sighed as the last of the sand slipped between his fingers. “And I should let you sleep instead of dumping my problems on you.”

“It’s okay. I can’t sleep, either. I should, I know.” For a while, there was silence. Seung Gil watched the ocean and dealt with the realization he’d come to. He jumped when Phichit started speaking again. “Maybe not having a soulmate wouldn’t be so bad, for me. If I don’t have a soulmate, that’s more time and energy for my skating, and my friends. Minako swears one of the reasons she won the big fancy dance award she won is that she didn’t have a soulmate distracting her.”

“Maybe…” Seung Gil still couldn’t get his head around the idea of Phichit not having a soulmate, though. “But don’t you want to be the most important person in someone’s life?” He would be in Seung Gil’s, if Seung Gil didn’t have a soulmate, but that wasn’t the same.

“It doesn’t always work that way, even for soulmates.”

True. Everyone knew someone whose soulmate hadn’t worked out for one reason or another. Seung Gil wanted to take that risk, though. “But at least if you have a soulmate, the chance is there.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Phichit’s voice turned dreamy. “I don’t want to get into something like Yuuri and Viktor have, but it would be nice to have someone I can count on to be there who won’t ever have to ditch me for their soulmate.” He rolled onto his side. “I’m gonna try to sleep again. I hope you can get some too.”

This time, Phichit did get to sleep. Seung Gil stayed up watching the ocean for a while.

 

He must have fallen asleep at some point. Phichit was still out there when he woke up. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Seung Gil sat up and brushed some sand off of himself. “Do you want to talk about your dream?”

“I don’t…” Seung Gil didn’t blame him. No matter what, there wasn’t much reason for Phichit to talk to him about it first. But then, Phichit changed his mind. “I’m probably an idiot, but yes, I do. Please, don’t freak out.”

If there were any words less helpful to not freaking out than that, Seung Gil didn’t know what they were. Phichit seemed genuinely nervous, too. Seung Gil forced a light smile. “What, is it my sister or something?”

“No. Seung Gil, it’s you. You’re my soulmate.”

Seung Gil could feel himself freezing. Phichit was supposed to be different from all the others who had made fun of him, who had left him feeling less than human and unworthy of having a soulmate. He wished he really didn’t have a soul. This would probably hurt less. Had Phichit been planning this? How long? Why? The answers to those questions didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that he’d trusted someone, let someone close in a way he hadn’t since he was nine years old, and that person treated him like a joke. “I see.” He turned and walked back to the house.

Whatever small hope Seung Gil had held out that Phichit was serious died when he got to the house. If Phichit had meant it, he’d have come after him. He quickly packed and got a cab. While he waited for the cab, he got his ticket home switched to that day. He stared at Phichit’s contact in his phone. As bad as it hurt, he couldn’t bring himself to delete it.

 

For the next five weeks, Seung Gil managed to bury his pain in skating. Phichit didn’t try to contact him. Guang Hong called him and tried to get him to reconcile with Phichit – “He’s really upset about your fight, Seung Gil. He misses you a lot.” Seung Gil didn’t believe it. He hadn’t blocked Phichit. If Phichit missed him, he’d have reached out and tried, wouldn’t he?

The night before his birthday, Seung Gil lay in bed and cried. He knew what was coming.

Except he didn’t. In his dream, Phichit understood. “You warned me this would happen, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen the way it did. I thought you’d take a swing at me or something. I don’t guess I’ve ever seen you really mad at something. By the time I was able to get myself together to go after you, I kept getting caught by everyone else. You were gone before I could get to you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Phichit held him close. “It’s okay. I should have listened to you and let you discover this for yourself, when there was no way to misunderstand.”

 

In the morning, Seung Gil woke up to the sound of his doorbell. He wanted to ignore it, but there was no getting back into the dream no matter what, so he may as well go tell off whoever it was ringing his doorbell this early on his birthday.

He opened the door to find Phichit. “Hey. In my dream, when you told me you wouldn’t believe me, you also said you wouldn’t come to me. I’m not letting you get away from me, Seung Gil. You warned me, I didn’t listen, and I couldn’t get my shit together to make you listen before you left. This is as much my fault as yours, and I was listening when you told me how afraid you were that you’d end up alone. What kind of soulmate would I be if I just let that happen?”

“I would have come. Eventually. I love you, and I think eventually that would have gotten over the fear and embarrassment.”

“Eventually. You think.” Phichit reached out and touched Seung Gil’s cheek. “I’m right here. I love you too. Can we skip the part where you feel too embarrassed to talk to me?”

“Yes.” Seung Gil closed his eyes and stepped into Phichit’s embrace. “I said this in my dream, but you don’t remember. I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you. You’re not an idiot or an asshole, you wouldn’t do that to anyone.”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so it's five weeks and two days. Sue me.
> 
> I do not know how a PHICHIT-CENTRIC soulmate fic turned out so angsty. I blame Seung Gil.


End file.
